What's on your mind?

wannaberocker wrote:

The whole dating thing shouldn't even be considered"................... So my coworker says "Oh, so you mean dating that should lead to marriage".

But yeah im very much a weirdo in today's dating scene. But oh well, nothing wrong with being different.

Being weirdo and different. This is exactly what transpired in a recent conversation with a friend. This is exactly the impression he got after talking to me. I've known him since HS but I do not have regular communication with him. He was outright flirting so I was equally direct in giving him my honest and friendly answer of "No, thank you but this won't work."

And then he started saying that it can work because he "can" be a Christian in the process. I told him I am not willing to take that route.
I was really praying for wisdom and how to be truthful in love. I was struggling how to explain to him in a way that he will be able to understand it while making a strong point that I have different values now.

It ended well and I was even able to share the gospel to him. Weirdos and different we are. Indeed, we are set apart. : )

TX_CO_Matt wrote:

RaiyuuDarling wrote:

wannaberocker wrote:

As Saucy mentioned the book he has been reading. It reminded me of a conversation I had with a co worker recently.

My co worker said to me "Well I know this girl she would be great for you, but she is 36 years old". I just smiled and gave a non answer primarily because hate the idea of being "Set up" by someone. So when I didn't give a straight yes or no answer to her, she started asking me if I had someone or if I liked someone. So I again gave her sort of a non answer talking about how I view relationships.

I said something along the lines of "To me you cant rush relationships. You got to take it slow because there is a big potential of people getting hurt. They should not be entered lightly and unless you are sure your personality and values match. The whole dating thing shouldn't even be considered"................... So my coworker says "Oh, so you mean dating that should lead to marriage".

I think her response speaks volumes at to how most view dating in todays culture. In my mind why would you date if your goal was not marriage? Yet, in most peoples mind dating is just this fun thing where you live in the Moment and enjoy the giddy feelings and when those feelings go away you break up.

But yeah im very much a weirdo in today's dating scene. But oh well, nothing wrong with being different.

I so agree. I couldn't have said it better myself. Why waste time getting your feelings hurt and creating emotional bonds with someone you don't intend to get married to? I think it's just a waste of time.

At least in my subculture, dating can often be synonymous with "hanging out". Often we'll call it "talking", but it looks similar to being on those first couple of dates, but they're not technically together or dating even though they are. Sometimes it won't blossom into a a relationship and sometimes it will, and there's really no set time either. We're often questioning of people who jump through this stage quickly. People that are friends first will skip this stage all together and go straight to being "official".

It works like this... (Guide to Early 20s Relationships)
Meet
Start talking and hanging out
You two start talking hanging out together with just each other. It's a friendship, but it's not about just being friends
You start going out on dates
You become boyfriend/girlfriend.

Where "dating" technically starts is really kind of hard to define for me. Really, when you start hanging out solely with each other is also when you start going to dates. It's not necessarily a blurred line between friendship and dating relationship, but it's just a hard to define line. If you asked me or most of my friends "At what point are a guy and a girl no longer 'just friends'?" we would give some sort of answer about physical contact (when you start holding hands together, after your first kiss, or even once you start dating). Dating should be for the purpose of finding the right person and not just "for fun", I agree don't really understand how why you should be cautious about creating emotional bonds like this? Yes, you can get hurt. How are you really going to know if you are if they who you want to marry if you aren't vulnerable?
There are two sayings that have become popular among my friends and I that have a similar message. "High risk, High reward" and "Go big or go home". I'm sorry, but I can't help but wonder, and I'm guilty of this as well if maybe part of the reason we're single is because we are too afraid of getting hurt we put ourselves out there. I'm not saying we should all just spill out our inner most feelings to everyone we develop feelings for, but I know several people in the past year that I could've dated but didn't for the sole reason of being afraid of getting hurt. I purposely sabotaged a date last year and convinced myself that I did everything on purpose so I wouldn't get hurt.

I think it's that "talking" or special "hanging out" stage that tends to leave one or both individuals hurt. The last thing we need is more stages prior to the dating stage. It totally lacks for clarity and commitment.

I'd say no. Especially since you are uncomfortable about it.

Missy. My natural inclination would say don't do it. On the other hand, this might be an open door for you to minster them and share the truth. Pls pray about it and seek His guidance over this matter. : )

I think this funk I am in, isn't so much depression in the normal sense.

More like a restless spirit of wanting more.......doing more, but what?

I'm sad, but not a cry myself to sleep sad, it's more like..... boredom mixed with the constant question of, "what now?"

Oh how I envy those who know "their purpose".....  Obviously we are all here for His glory, but..... in what capacity?

Maybe, it's just cause I am old and don't feel I have done enough..... mid-life crisis maybe?

Hmmm, if only I could afford an expensive sports car.  VROOOOOM, may be to young for a mid-life, but never to old or young for a fast car......  

Now of course whats on my mind....... "How much longer til my burritos are done? I has the hunger of grumbling stomach."

Miss Spaulding wrote:

So one of the ladies I work for asks me if I'd considered catering a small party for her a couple Saturdays from now. Not a problem, only...she's like a wiccan or something and this shindig she's throwing is a 'witches tea party'.   Alrighty then.

So I now feel like I'm in this crunchy spot. I really don't want to cater this witch tea party and be surrounded by women doing a bunch of palm readings, taro cards, Ouija board playing, and whatnot. I mean, I don't know, I really think I'd be uncomfortable. Am I being weird about this? I haven't given her an answer yet, but I'm considering say 'no'. Maybe my attitude seems a little over-the-top, but I'm really not one to put myself in situations that involve anything cult-ish.

You could ask what the party is. If she says that's what they're doing, then if your not comfortable with it, then politely decline. If they're just going to play bunko or something, then it's a different situation.
You could just decline anyway.

I wish I was more organized.

Miss Spaulding wrote:

So one of the ladies I work for asks me if I'd considered catering a small party for her a couple Saturdays from now. Not a problem, only...she's like a wiccan or something and this shindig she's throwing is a 'witches tea party'.   Alrighty then.

So I now feel like I'm in this crunchy spot. I really don't want to cater this witch tea party and be surrounded by women doing a bunch of palm readings, taro cards, Ouija board playing, and whatnot. I mean, I don't know, I really think I'd be uncomfortable. Am I being weird about this? I haven't given her an answer yet, but I'm considering say 'no'. Maybe my attitude seems a little over-the-top, but I'm really not one to put myself in situations that involve anything cult-ish.

No you're not being weird about it. I would politely say no, and if they ask you for your reason then you can just be honest with them in that it conflicts with your beliefs. That would bother me immensely as well.

  Those fearing the Zombie Apocalypse are foolish.

I present to you phota.... fote... pictured evidence of the TRUE danger.....



Gingers!!! ...... (You know I luv ya Strider and Hippie )

Toro wrote:

I think this funk I am in, isn't so much depression in the normal sense.

More like a restless spirit of wanting more.......doing more, but what?

I'm sad, but not a cry myself to sleep sad, it's more like..... boredom mixed with the constant question of, "what now?"

Oh how I envy those who know "their purpose".....  Obviously we are all here for His glory, but..... in what capacity?

Maybe, it's just cause I am old and don't feel I have done enough..... mid-life crisis maybe?

Hmmm, if only I could afford an expensive sports car.  VROOOOOM, may be to young for a mid-life, but never to old or young for a fast car......  

Now of course whats on my mind....... "How much longer til my burritos are done? I has the hunger of grumbling stomach."

I feel your feels bro.
I know I'm only 20 but I often wonder why I'm not as 'developed' as much as my peers are at my age.

Just trying to find God's Will in my life :/

Ninzae wrote:

Missy. My natural inclination would say don't do it. On the other hand, this might be an open door for you to minster them and share the truth. Pls pray about it and seek His guidance over this matter.  : )

Niña makes a good point, Sharon. If you're uncomfortable, then it's perfectly okay to say no. But, maybe God wants you to be there.

TX_CO_Matt wrote:

At least in my subculture, dating can often be synonymous with "hanging out". Often we'll call it "talking", but it looks similar to being on those first couple of dates, but they're not technically together or dating even though they are. Sometimes it won't blossom into a a relationship and sometimes it will, and there's really no set time either. We're often questioning of people who jump through this stage quickly. People that are friends first will skip this stage all together and go straight to being "official".

That sounds healthy to me. Go on a date now and then, hang out, and generally get to know each other before becoming official etc. If the two of you are compatible, then it will happen naturally. Relationships shouldn't feel rushed. If we're not on a similar wavelength regarding something so basic, then how compatible can we be? Although it's nice to have a girlfriend, it's more important to find the mutual kind relationship in which you both appreciate each other for who you are. If that means things take a little longer, then so be it. My perspective on it is that if I've waited this long, then I can wait a few more months or however long it takes for us to both be comfortable with our relationship. If she's right for me, then she can too. We'll be on a similar page.

wannaberocker wrote:

My co worker said to me "Well I know this girl she would be great for you, but she is 36 years old". I just smiled and gave a non answer primarily because hate the idea of being "Set up" by someone. So when I didn't give a straight yes or no answer to her, she started asking me if I had someone or if I liked someone. So I again gave her sort of a non answer talking about how I view relationships.

I said something along the lines of "To me you cant rush relationships. You got to take it slow because there is a big potential of people getting hurt. They should not be entered lightly and unless you are sure your personality and values match. The whole dating thing shouldn't even be considered"................... So my coworker says "Oh, so you mean dating that should lead to marriage".

I think her response speaks volumes at to how most view dating in todays culture. In my mind why would you date if your goal was not marriage? Yet, in most peoples mind dating is just this fun thing where you live in the Moment and enjoy the giddy feelings and when those feelings go away you break up.

But yeah im very much a weirdo in today's dating scene. But oh well, nothing wrong with being different.

I can relate. Nothing ventured nothing gained, but if she doesn't seem like she has wife potential, then I don't see the point of dating her. It's better to be thought of as a weirdo if it means that you make a more informed decision by doing what you consider to be the right thing. It can be a tough call to make, but it'll work out better for you in the long run.

I can't remember the last time I checked my email.  
I hope I didn't get anything I needed to respond to.

Dandelions in the Rain wrote:

I can't remember the last time I checked my email.  
I hope I didn't get anything I needed to respond to.

So that's why you never replied!

Strider1002 wrote:

Dandelions in the Rain wrote:

I can't remember the last time I checked my email.  
I hope I didn't get anything I needed to respond to.

So that's why you never replied!

I'm sorry... I meant to say the answer is 42.

Dandelions in the Rain wrote:

I'm sorry... I meant to say the answer is 42.

Ah, yes. I see. I forgot to carry the 1.

So.. on one of the jobs I'm considering applying for it says in the description "must be outgoing". I've applied to many many jobs with that in the description but never got those jobs. What should I do? Not apply? Or try to act outgoing somehow in the interview?

If you'd rather not act outgoing on the job, then I'd apply elsewhere.

Dandelions in the Rain wrote:

I'm sorry... I meant to say the answer is 42.

Correct!

Miss Spaulding wrote:

Congrats on your raise.  

A new story line pertaining to an old story you had going already? Well, you're better off than me with your writing. I haven't written since...well, I don't remember. It's been that long. I've never gathered up enough confidence to write any stories I've concocted as an adult. It's a shame.

Daha, thanks! It's not much, but it helps a lot!

'Tis a completely new story, actually. And...I could kick myself for not writing it down...'cause I'll be darned if I can remember it now.  ...  

Strider1002 wrote:

Squeaks, I may have to pay you another visit, since I don't get to see you any other way

Pffft...I know, right? For being only part-time, I'm getting some decent hours right now...and it's supposed to get SUPER busy during our anniversary sale; Manager has already asked all of us in the deli if we'd be willing to work overtime. I know I'm gonna be soooooo tired working so much, but I'd be gettin' more monies.

As to a visit...YUS PLZ. If your free on Wednesday, I can tell you what time my lunch break'll be tomorrow. I already know it'll be late afternoon, since I'm closing that night, but I can give an exact time when I check our scheduled lunch breaks.[/quote]

Dandelions in the Rain wrote:

So.. on one of the jobs I'm considering applying for it says in the description "must be outgoing". I've applied to many many jobs with that in the description but never got those jobs. What should I do? Not apply? Or try to act outgoing somehow in the interview?

Smile and answer questions with confidence in your own ability. Im quiet and shy, but I often do well on interviews because I find one on one interviews to be more personal and easier and I can answer with confidence.

You got this DITR, don't doubt yourself.

Dandelions in the Rain wrote:

So.. on one of the jobs I'm considering applying for it says in the description "must be outgoing". I've applied to many many jobs with that in the description but never got those jobs. What should I do? Not apply? Or try to act outgoing somehow in the interview?

I would apply anyway. The worst that can happen is you don't get the job

Squeakers wrote:

As to a visit...YUS PLZ. If your free on Wednesday, I can tell you what time my lunch break'll be tomorrow. I already know it'll be late afternoon, since I'm closing that night, but I can give an exact time when I check our scheduled lunch breaks.

Sure thing! Let me know

Ugh. That moment when you realize that you hurt someone you liked, years ago, simply because you didn't know what you were doing.