Does God Really Want You Single?

I recently read this short article and thought id share.
 
Does God Really Want You Single?
By Kathleen Hardaway
 
 
 
CBN.com – Have you ever wondered if you’ve made a mistake? That there’s something you’ve done wrong and that’s why you’re not married? I have. The thought has entered my mind that maybe I didn’t try hard enough to find someone, maybe I’ve gone to the wrong church all these years, maybe if I was just a wee bit thinner then maybe I would have found the man of my dreams.
Have thoughts like these plagued your mind, and you’ve gotten caught up with doubts that you’ll ever get married? There are very few singles that I have talked with that haven’t at times felt like it’s their fault they’re single.
 
Is it your fault? Every person has a different story. I can’t give you a pat answer for why you’re single, but I can tell you that God desires you to do one very important thing as you deal with your singleness--believe that He knows what’s best for your life. When I have questioned God about why I’m single, I’ve had to come back to the fact that He’s in control of my life.
 
Does this mean you eat a gallon of ice cream every night? That you can live any way that you want to? Of course not. You are to have self control in all things (Galatians 5:22). Self control in your eating, self control with what you’re reading, self control with what you’re viewing and self control with who you’re spending time with. Be the very best you can be in every area of your life.
 
There may be someone you’re very attracted to, but you know they’re not a Christian. Why are you dating them? God tells us not to be unequally yoked (2 Cor. 6:14); therefore, getting caught up with an unbeliever is a big mistake. Singleness at times can be lonely, but going outside God’s principles in any way will only bring you more heartbreak.
 
Certainly you have desires, you have passion, you have a longing in your heart to love someone and to be loved. This is normal. I would encourage you to give your hurt, your heartbreaks, and your desires over to God. God says to cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you (I Peter 5:7). Tell Him it hurts, tell Him it’s hard, tell Him you cannot go alone anymore.” That’s where He wants you to be, totally and completely dependent on Him. You’re not alone. He’s always with you (Psalm 73:23).
 
Does God really want you to be single? God has a plan and a purpose for your life. Do you believe Him for His plan? Believing God and trusting God go hand in hand. Have you ever heard anyone say, “I believe in God,” but they don’t live by his precepts, His principles, His promises that give them the direction they need for their lives?
 
Hang on to His Word; hang on to His truth that says, His ways are higher than your ways (Isaiah 55:9) Hang on to the great hope in the true and loving God who says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding, acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
 
Live each day with a dream in your heart and a purpose in your life to believe God when life doesn’t make sense, when life doesn’t seem to be going as you had hoped, but when you know that your Heavenly Father knows what’s best.

ohhhh this is hard

God wants what's best for us. Depending on our character, some of us are better off single, and some are better off married.

I'd like to get married in the future, but I'm not going to curse God... or anyone, really... if it doesn't happen. In 40 or 50 years I'll go to be with Him. And then, I expect I'll say "I can't believe I was so worried about that blip on the radar that was my time on earth."

Thanks for sharing the article.

I think it is good to be content with where we are in life (single or married) to follow God no matter if we are single or married.

I think having the desire to be married someday is fine but we should never value that desire more than following and being obedient to God.

It's good to trust in God's plan even though we don't have a clue sometimes as to what it is; but he does want the best for us. Sometimes I think I want to know.. and sometimes I think I probably am not ready to know. He cares for and values us more than we realize so he has the best plan and we need to trust that.

I really like Proverbs 3:5-6.

Jess9450 wrote:

ohhhh this is hard

It is hard indeed. But then again living a Godly live was never gonna be easy.

Dandelions in the Rain wrote:

Thanks for sharing the article.

I think it is good to be content with where we are in life (single or married) to follow God no matter if we are single or married.

I think having the desire to be married someday is fine but we should never value that desire more than following and being obedient to God.

It's good to trust in God's plan even though we don't have a clue sometimes as to what it is; but he does want the best for us. Sometimes I think I want to know.. and sometimes I think I probably am not ready to know. He cares for and values us more than we realize so he has the best plan and we need to trust that.

I really like Proverbs 3:5-6.

couldn't have said it any better myself.

I agree that God does everything in His time. I thought I was destined to be single and now my wife and I just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I in no way deserve to be married and there was certainly nothing I did to earn it; it was through God's grace alone and that's not something I take lightly.

The best advice I can give is to use your singleness wisely. Travel, volunteer, explore, take some chances, dive into your hobbies. That's what I did and now that I'm married I have new experiences and exciting things to do but I don't look back with regret. God gave me time to pursue my passions and do what I love while I was single. Now I get to share those with my wife while experiencing new and wonderful things with her. Both seasons are great so use them wisely because they will pass VERY quickly.

Good advice, Thunder. God gave me a message once: "You won't always be alone, so use this time to do what you need to do."

I think it's a bit strange to think God "wants" you single or married.  I think you can drive yourself crazy thinking like that or sort of see marriage as a reward for being good or faithful; which it isn't.  I had a hard time with being single and a lot of people around me let me know that they thought it was because I wasn't good enough or didn't love God enough.  It's a twisted way to think. What helped me was to think of it as this, "I may not always be single, but I am today.  I'm going to be the best that God made me to be. I'm going to trust that marriage isn't a rewards based system and that God knows what He's doing even when it doesn't make sense to me or anyone else."

And I think it's important to have an attitude of thankfulness. Counting your blessings can make you truly thankful for any situation. When I was single I never lost the strong desire to be married, but I found it better to focus on all the things I do have and that God has blessed me with than focus on the one thing I didn't have. Especially when I had people around me who were very vocal about how you meet your mate when you are pleasing God, etc.... I was like God has blessed me with all this other......it helped me to see truth in the midst of vocal lies or wrong ideas being passed off as truth.

It's not so much what God wants you to do, whether it be a job, being single, being married or whatever.  It's how you do those things and what your heart and attitude is while you are doing them.

Spunkn wrote:

It's not so much what God wants you to do, whether it be a job, being single, being married or whatever.  It's how you do those things and what your heart and attitude is while you are doing them.

This.

Great answer, Spunkn. I agree.

Currently, yes. Not because he wants me single or "taken", but I am learning many more things about myself when I am single and "focusing on me" and improving myself, instead of spending less time focusing on me and more on her.

I just read this article that I really liked that someone shared on fb and thought it was similar to this thread topic.

http://convergemagazine.com/single-waiting-9283/

I read the first line "Im 23 and im Single"......... I guess im so old now that 23 year olds seem like kids to me now.

I guess ill read the rest when I got some more time.

hooray for Converge Magazine!! Seriously, I really like the articles they write

I somewhat disagree with the article dandy posted.

The question I ask is Why cant we be ticked at God? Why cant we say "Where is my guy or gal"?

One attitude that I hate in the Christian circles is the "well at least its not worse" attitude. Its like when a guy who losses his sight and people say "Well at least you have you arms and legs". then he may lose his arms and legs and people say "Well at least you have your ears". What is this at least your not worse off attitude.

So here it is: I am single and it sucks. Do I want to be single? Heck no.

But, that's just the reality of it. My singleness is not so Gift or whatever BS. It is simply the reality that I am single. Am I sort of ticked at God? Heck yeah I am. You know why? Because day after day after day all I see around is people who don't give Two licks about God. Yet, they have the careers, the love and the family.

Compare that to the Christians I see. Yup, they try their best to do good and live for God. But, most are poor, don't have careers, single and with nothing much going on in life.


What does that mean? I don't know. I guess it simply means that life as a Christian will Suck. Does it suck because we are in a fallen world or does it suck because for some other unknown reason. I have no idea, I only know what I see everyday.

Ok Rant Over.

wannaberocker wrote:

The question I ask is Why cant we be ticked at God? Why cant we say "Where is my guy or gal"?

If you consider who God is, and who you are in relation to Him, you begin to see why it looks kind of funny to picture any person being mad at God. I completely understand where you're coming from, and if you're mad, then that's how you feel and you should be honest with God about that, but your attitude is going to have to change eventually.

wannaberocker wrote:

One attitude that I hate in the Christian circles is the "well at least its not worse" attitude. Its like when a guy who losses his sight and people say "Well at least you have you arms and legs". then he may lose his arms and legs and people say "Well at least you have your ears". What is this at least your not worse off attitude.

It might be a little silly, but at least it's having a positive outlook/attitude towards a circumstance instead of them saying that they're just going to cross their arms and be mad about it.

wannaberocker wrote:

So here it is: I am single and it sucks. Do I want to be single? Heck no.

But, that's just the reality of it. My singleness is not so Gift or whatever BS. It is simply the reality that I am single. Am I sort of ticked at God? Heck yeah I am. You know why? Because day after day after day all I see around is people who don't give Two licks about God. Yet, they have the careers, the love and the family.

Again, I've felt this feeling before so I can completely relate to what you are talking about. But the reality is that being mad at God because non-believers are married and you, a Christian, are single shows that fundamentally you believe you deserve a wife because you've been good. The problem with this way of thinking is that without Jesus, you could be most well-behaved person on the planet and still deserve eternal separation from God. One thing you have that that unbelieving married couple doesn't have is a relationship with Jesus Christ. And just by the mere fact that you are living and breathing and have a relationship with Christ despite your wicked heart shows that God has extended incredible mercy and grace to you.

This is something I've had to continually remind myself when I've had points in my life where I was mad at God about being single.

wannaberocker wrote:

Compare that to the Christians I see. Yup, they try their best to do good and live for God. But, most are poor, don't have careers, single and with nothing much going on in life.

What does that mean? I don't know. I guess it simply means that life as a Christian will Suck. Does it suck because we are in a fallen world or does it suck because for some other unknown reason. I have no idea, I only know what I see everyday.

Ok Rant Over.

I understand that you're probably just in a bad mood over this as I actually have been tonight as well, but let me remind you, as I'm currently reminding myself, that true lasting joy only comes from being satisfied in Christ. And if you don't know what that looks like, I could suggest some reading material for you that has helped me out significantly in understanding what it means to be truly satisfied in Christ.

And I can tell you that if you don't know how to be satisfied in Christ, marriage is going to turn into a burden for you rather than a blessing.

EDIT: By the way I just noticed the title of this thread, and I know it was made awhile ago, but if God did want you to be single, my hope and prayer for everyone in here is that you would give that up to Him because of the joy in Christ you already have available to you. I know there was a point in my life not long ago when I wasn't sure that I would want to be a Christian if it meant being single for the rest of my life, but I felt so bad about feeling that way that I avoided thinking about it. But now I can say that if I ever had to choose between getting married and having a relationship with Christ, I would gladly stay single for the rest of my life. Hands down. It's not even a question. And while I don't think it would ever come down to that for most of us, I do think we each need to examine where our affections lie. Do they lie with Christ, or something else?

Funny thing is that as I typed last nights response. I knew all the opposing arguments to what I was saying already.

Sometimes that is the most frustrating part of it.

Im single, Could I be in a relationship and be miserable? Sure.

Im mad at God, But look at how blessed I am.

Sometimes, I just have those moments when im ticked off and I think I have the right to be ticked off at God also sometimes. If im comfortable enough with my earthly father to be mad at him, then why cant I be mad at our heavenly father also.

But, yeah essentially you are correct in everything you said.

Yeah, I usually tell people that if they are mad with God, they should be honest about that and express those feelings to God in prayer, but not stay that way.