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 In capable of being in a Relationship

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wannaberocker

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PostSubject: In capable of being in a Relationship    Tue Jan 14, 2014 10:40 am

So over the past week or so iv just had this feeling like im incapable of being in a relationship.

Its a strange feeling because on the one hand when I get lonely, I desire to be in a relationship. When i see others in relationship, i desire that for myself.

Yet, on the other hand i feel like im incapable of being in a relationship. I get this fear that ill either screw it up, ill get sick of the person, ill be tempted by someone else (which i know is sooo silly), that we will both simply grow apart and lastly or  that ill regret getting into a relationship in the first place once we have problems.

I don't know why iv been thinking this way. Maybe, i haven't been in a relationship in soooo long that i just done feel up to it. Maybe, it is God's way of telling me "you are single cause its best for you".

I just have no idea.

What are you guy's n girl's thoughts?
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Strider1002

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PostSubject: Re: In capable of being in a Relationship    Tue Jan 14, 2014 12:41 pm

I doubt you're incapable. But if you only feel the desire when you're lonely or when you see couples, maybe it's not best for you right now.
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TX_CO_Matt
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PostSubject: Re: In capable of being in a Relationship    Tue Jan 14, 2014 3:16 pm

I kind of know what you are talking about. Though for me personally, I rarely ever don't have the desire to be in a relationship. I don't think you are incapable of being in a relationship or anything.
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Toro

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PostSubject: Re: In capable of being in a Relationship    Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:23 am

While I agree with RJ, it's not good to enter a relationship just cause you are lonely.

Its also not good to avoid them simply cause you dont ALWAYS want someone around. That is natural. Every human being on this planet needs "me time".

If you like someone and want a relationship, go for it. You will never know until you try. Dont let fear of "messing it up" or "growing tired" of someone stop you IF you want a relationship for the right reasons (not just clinging to someone to avoid being lonely). After all, if it took two perfect people to make a relationship work. There would be zero successful relationships, its why they are hard work, but worth it with the right person.

Those fears and desire to not ALWAYS be around someone makes you human. Not incapable.
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wannaberocker

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PostSubject: Re: In capable of being in a Relationship    Mon Jan 20, 2014 10:59 am

Thanks Toro, that's good advice.

I guess in a way its sort of like sports. Lets say the game is on the line and you have the last play, will you let the fear of messing up control your reactions or will you take the last shot.

Now sure you can miss and lose the game. But you can also make it and win the game.

But, we will never find out what happens unless we overcome our fears and take the last shot.
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Toro

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PostSubject: Re: In capable of being in a Relationship    Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:57 pm

Exactly, a Christians life should NEVER be ruled by fear. You put yourself out there, you WILL get hurt, again, and again, and again, and again. But a Christian shouldn't put their tail between their legs and run away. Christ freed us of fear, to allow outselves to live in fear is to put that bondage back on ourself that the blood of Christ set us free from.

Yes, its not a bad thing to feel fear, just dont let it rule you. (Which is easier said than done.) But even when we get hurt, God makes sure we are BETTER for the pain, not weaker for it. Pain can very well destroy us, but only if we give it the power to do so. (Also very hard to keep in mind while feeling the pain) but as someone who has been broken lying on the floor of rock bottom face down. I know what its like to be broken and not want to live another day, BUT when you stick it out, even when you are the fool that messed up a good thing. It comes full circle and one day it DOES click on why something went south, even when it was meant to be. In all aspects in life, not just relationships.

Fear is natural for any human, being ruled by it is not something any Christian should allow. I dont believe it is "unchristian" to live in fear, just a choice a Christian can choose if they focus to much on the world and not what God may or may not have in store for them.

Sure, you may open a door you shouldnt have, but even with our mistakes orur father is so great that he can make our mistakes into triumphs, we simply have to take chances now and then. God may not give us wings when we take a leap, but He wont allow the fall to kill us, as long as we dont allow it to, by trusting in Him, more than ourselves.

Sorry, Im rambling Very Happy:P
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Strider1002

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PostSubject: Re: In capable of being in a Relationship    Mon Jan 20, 2014 10:13 pm

The bull is right Smile

Trust in God and even when things appear to be going wrong, they'll be working to better you. In that light, there's really nothing to be afraid of... though we can't help it sometimes. It's natural.
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Toro

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PostSubject: Re: In capable of being in a Relationship    Tue Jan 21, 2014 2:50 am

Strider1002 wrote:
The bull is right Smile


 Suspect Were there ever any doubts about my rightness? How many times I have to tell you all.... I am ALWAYS right? Anyone saying to the contrary has an ulterior motive and their "Evidence to my wrongness" shan't be believed. They are obviously biased and NEED me to be "wrong" to achieve their evil schemes.  Suspect  Trust no one but the bull. Razz
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Ethnog

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PostSubject: Re: In capable of being in a Relationship    Mon Feb 10, 2014 12:35 am

You are capable with whatever your heart desires. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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