Snce when did weddings become so elaborate?

Posts : 757 Join date : 2013-07-06 Age : 38 Location : DE

So my brother is getting married.

It seems like wedding's have simply become so complex and elaborate that it almost seems to much to process mentally for one person.

The amount of money involved is just crazy.

Yet, My parents seems committed to taking on debt just so they can have this elaborate wedding, But why?

We are gonna invite people we don't even like or care for. But, we will invite them even though we haven't seen them in years.

What has "getting married" turned into? Its like a barrage of commercialism and marketing.

It is insanity to me, absolute insanity.

Divorce is at 50% in America but if you look at the weddings, it would seem like divorce is at 0%.

I know im a being a bit downer and negative about it.

But Geez, am I weird for thinking that wedding should only be 2 people a priest and God? Who cares about the rest.

It just seems like somewhere along the line we pushed this fairytale idea of weddings on little girls. But forgot to tell them what a wedding is really about ie. making a life long commitment in front of God.

Moderator Posts : 490 Join date : 2013-07-29

I share your sentiment on this matter. I have never understood why so much time, effort, and money are put into weddings. If I ever were married someday, I would hope for a quiet and peaceful wedding day with as few people as possible. One with which would be serene, pleasant and memorable, not for the events, or people, but rather because I married the love of my life. Certainly a newly wedded couple is cause for rejoicing, and it seems that it was in biblical times, but it also does seem quite out of proportion in today's society. I know of people who had beautiful expensive and elaborate weddings, but then ended up divorcing not long later, which is sad. I would much prefer one simple as possible.

I don't really get why they have to be expensive either. I don't think it's worth debt. If people have a lot of money and want to spend it that's their choice though.
Weddings are lovely celebrations with friends and family so I think it's nice to do something special on that day. It doesn't have to be expensive to be a special and lovely celebration with family and friends.
I've only been to a few weddings in my life and the two weddings I went to that were friends of mine were not expensive at all, but they were so wonderful and sweet to go to. One of them was inside a tiny chapel, and another was in a field. Smile

Are those people you mentioned that you are inviting and don't really like, family?

I think when/if I get married and if I don't run off and elope like my grandparents did, then I will probably invite all of my family at least 1st cousins and uncles and aunts. And more extended family if I know who they are and they've actually been in my life.

I think a wedding can be quite lovely and doesn't have to be expensive. In my perspective it's all about celebrating it with those you love.

Hmm and I think that's true about the whole fairy tale wedding thing. Very Happy

But I still think weddings are exciting.

When I was younger I always thought I'd just want to do what my grandparents did and go drive to las vegas and get married (they did so because one was catholic and one was not so that made having a wedding with family complicated). But as I've gotten older I really appreciate the idea of celebrating with family and friends.

You can have a good marriage after eloping and you can have a good marriage after having a big elaborate wedding.

Seems like women somehow get the idea that their wedding has to be THE most perfect day of their lives. That doesn't make any sense to me. Probably a product of marketing, though... just like Christmas is these days.

It's become an idol. Materialism, popularity and "being in the moment" are what people want now days. So marriage is "supposedly" one of the most important days of the year. It's their chance to "prove" to the world how special their day is and how wonderful their life is.

It's all a big mask in people's lives to try and fill the void that only God can fill.

I have nothing against inviting a lot of people to your wedding. But when you're going into debt, or spending huge amounts of wedding and making that the focus of your wedding then something's wrong. The wedding should be to honor your commitment before God, not to show off to everyone how much you spent.

A wedding should be special, and should be a wonderful day. But it's gone way overboard and the focus is all wrong now in most cases.

Yeah, as I've said before, there's too much focus on that one day and not enough focus on the years that come after.

Guest

the best wedding I ever went to, we were all very casual. No suits, ties, dresses. A nice ceremony at the church, then a BBQ at the groom's parent's house. The married couple had to leave early for some reason I couldn't figure out....

Posts : 161 Join date : 2013-07-21

Weddings became elaborate when people figured there's a lot of money to be made off of such an emotional event. Weddings can be lovely and do not have to cost a lot at all. The wedding industry is insane and is only fueled by the dumb reality shows about it that convince people that they "have" to have something. But even before all that, weddings were still an expense. It can be as simple or as elaborate as you want. People really need to make a realistic budget and stand their ground in the midst of the frenzy and slick talking venders . I honestly don't think people realize what weddings can cost- both on the cheap end and on the not so cheap end- until they experience it themselves or through a close friend or family member. No one should have to go into debt to get married.

I don't think weddings have to be expensive, but I do think they should be celebratory and fun. That's why I'd hope to have as many of my friends and family there as I could have. But I think it's possible to have a fun, enjoyable, beautiful wedding with a lot of people and not spend a ton of money.

Since the world put more meaning on the ceremony than the love that SHOULD be central to the reason for the marriage.

All the rest is simply fluff. Whether people realize it or not, it is just one more way to "keep up with the Jones'"

Spunkn wrote:: It's become an idol. Materialism, popularity and "being in the moment" are what people want now days. So marriage is "supposedly" one of the most important days of the year. It's their chance to "prove" to the world how special their day is and how wonderful their life is.

It's all a big mask in people's lives to try and fill the void that only God can fill.

I have nothing against inviting a lot of people to your wedding. But when you're going into debt, or spending huge amounts of wedding and making that the focus of your wedding then something's wrong. The wedding should be to honor your commitment before God, not to show off to everyone how much you spent.

A wedding should be special, and should be a wonderful day. But it's gone way overboard and the focus is all wrong now in most cases.

Exactly!

I do agree with Paul as well. If you are not a more private person and do want family and friends involved in your wedding, then there's nothing wrong with turning it into a sweet celebration. But there is no reason to spend thousands though, let alone go into debt. I'm in awe at people who do this, especially parents who are the ones footing the bill, which is usually the case. I know that I would seriously be in the minority when it comes to expenses because I'd be the one paying, not my parents.

But yeah, the most important part of a wedding is completely overshadowed by all the material decorations, the dresses, the food, the music...blah, blah, blah. It's very sad and frankly, it's wrong too. The fact that they are choosing to enter into a lifelong commitment is over their heads...they're just words now. It's such a slap in the face to God.

Another thing that annoys the crap out of me is this mentality of the bride that it's 'HER' day. She's queen of the day. Um, what? I'm sorry...are you marrying yourself? Because last I checked you were marrying another human being. Isn't it his day too?

The focus should be on the bride, I believe that's biblical, but it doesn't -all- have to be about her.

I agree with Paulie. My sister's wedding would considered elaborate by many of you, but that's what her and her husband wanted, and my parents could afford it. I don't think it's wrong to have a fancy wedding, as long as that is not the point of the wedding. Money and nice things are amoral, it's what you do with them that makes them moral or immoral. As long as the marriage is the focus of the wedding, it doesn't matter to me the elaborateness of the ceremony and reception. I think the idea of just having a backyard BBQ is cool, like Sauce said, if we have 300 people with a catered meal in a fancy place, that would also be cool. It's probably cause I'm a guy and I don't care about that stuff.

I also agree with Sharon the whole "it's her day" is crap. Yes, women think about their wedding day more than men, it seems like. I can kind of understand where it's coming from, but the way I see it is that it is about the couple, not the bride.