When your spouse thinks a certain celeb is very attractive......

So today I was talking to a couple of guys about sports. One of the guy ways like "oh yeah my wife like such n such team cause she thinks that pitcher is really attractive. But I don't care".


So that got me thinking. Would it bother you if your wife or Husband thought some celeb or some random person was really attractive?


Initially I thought, it would bother me. But now that I think of it. I don't think it would bother me to much because we see attractive people everyday. When we get married everyone else doesn't automatically become unattractive. It just changes the fact that we are married to a person we love and find attractive.

What do ya guys think?

It depends on how she expressed it.

If she neglected me and did it in a way that made me feel like garbage for not being him.... then it would bug the crud out of me.... but then Im sure if I were going to marry her, Id already know that and she wouldn't be my wife if that were the case.

However if it were just a harmless little "He's cute" (or other harmless variations) Meh, I know who shes with, who her vows are to and if I am married to her, it means I trust her loyalty to me.

Me being me however, I would mess with her about it at times when it were brought up. "Yeah, youd trade me in, in a second for that model" or "Meh, go head, but he has to introduce me to MY celeb crush before you can run off with him. "

I plan on marrying a woman who I trust completely. Yeah, we'll both see other people who are attractive, but I'll stay true to her and I trust she'll stay true to me.

I doubt it would bother me much. Unless you're a 14 yearold girl, celebrity crushes really don't mean much at all. You know nothing will ever happen, you don't care about their lives. You just admire them for their outward appearances.

Yeah I think most couples understand that its light hearted and not some deep rooted crushing. That would be a concern if it was some deep rooted crush.

The fact that some people are concerned about this, I think, shows what is wrong with their conception of marriage. They think, "Well, I'm attracted to him/her, we have a good time together... we should get married!" If your marriage is only based on attraction and chemistry, then what's to stop you from leaving your spouse when you find someone you're slightly more attracted to?

Strider1002 wrote:

The fact that some people are concerned about this

Do you mean in general or on this forum? Cause the forum so far seems to be a unanimous "I wouldn't care"

Toro wrote:

Strider1002 wrote:

The fact that some people are concerned about this

Do you mean in general or on this forum? Cause the forum so far seems to be a unanimous "I wouldn't care"

In general

I figured, but then in general the biggest problem people have with marriage is they believe marriage is something to get out of if it become unpleasant.

IF people took it as the HUGE step it is, instead of "in depth dating" then that would solve a vast majority of the issues right there. My sister for example, is not even fully divorced and is yet again engaged.... to her going on 5th husband. I love my sister, but......

ABSOLUTELY NOT, she should only find me attractive. /sarcasm

Though, if it was in a creepy-stalker way, it might raise a caution flag.

To be honest, if he wouldn't acknowledge that he found any celebrities attractive that would make me very suspicious. Perhaps just because I am too nosey sometimes, but I would find it odd and perhaps impossible. Especially when it comes to celebrities, honestly in part, we pay them because they are considered attractive.

Honesty is very important, and so acknowledging that you find a celebrity attractive is fine. Having a fan girl obsession with them? mmm ... LOL maybe we have to talk.

But as Toro originally said,

Toro wrote:

It depends on how she expressed it.

If she neglected me and did it in a way that made me feel like garbage for not being him...then it would bug the crud out of me...

This is really the biggest thing. I have a coworker whose husband does this to her all the time. It makes me very sick and angry to watch or listen to. He rarely tells her she looks beautiful or nice, and only when she has lost weight or wears a certain style (the celebrity's style, although I don't know if he even realizes it).

So basically, just because you're married to a fox like me, doesn't mean the rest of the world and people in it become ugly. Let's not get completely ridiculous

I'd probably say something along the lines of, "You know he's not a real person, right?"; and then confess my crush on the tooth fairy.

Speaking as a married man, I keep my comments about other women to a general minimum. Wives and husbands are of one flesh, and so the woman should be the only standard for true, absolute perfection in terms of attractiveness/beauty for the man. When you start to freely make comments about the opposite gender, you invite temptation that either you or your spouse will presume that this other person is the ultimate standard. Scripture tells us to "rejoice in the wife of your youth" (Pr 5:18), and that should be what we truly do, both in our minds, actions and our heart.

When I do comment on the opposite gender, I generally make it clear that I'm simply speaking about them as a person, not that I am taking them as the pinnacle of beauty. This creates the level of trust between the two people and solidifies that I am not looking to anyone else for my standard of beauty or attractiveness.

As a human being you are going to find other people than your spouse attractive visually in your lifetime. It usually doesn't mean much more than "oh they look nice". If you are entertaining those thoughts in your heart and mind then that's when it becomes a problem.

I think it would depend on how naturally jealous (aka insecure) your spouse was. A few of my sisters struggle with their guys saying ANYTHING complimentary about another woman. But they also freely admit that its their own issues that make them more sensitive and not really that they think their guys are not satisfied with them.

I don't see a problem with acknowledging human beauty in both males and females. Mostly because if I say someone is hot, it doesn't mean I am attracted to them, it means that factually speaking, they look good.

How very is very? Simply finding someone good looking or admirable wouldn't bother me. Especially not if what she finds attractive in them has to do with how they dress or something else I can do myself. I think a husband and wife should try to look nice for each other, and within reason this sort of thing can be an opportunity. That being said, I don't think obsessing over celebrity crushes or whatnot is a good way to treat one's spouse.

Amber.ly wrote:

I think it would depend on how naturally jealous (aka insecure) your spouse was. A few of my sisters struggle with their guys saying ANYTHING complimentary about another woman. But they also freely admit that its their own issues that make them more sensitive and not really that they think their guys are not satisfied with them.

I don't see a problem with acknowledging human beauty in both males and females. Mostly because if I say someone is hot, it doesn't mean I am attracted to them, it means that factually speaking, they look good.

You mean, its possible that LT WASN'T after me all this time?

LIES!!!

Honestly if I were a husband and my wife felt less attractive if I said a woman was attractive.... IF she talked to me about it, it would never be said again.

Yes, it would be her issues, but as a husband, her issues would be mine and instead of being angry at her, I would work as hard as I could to make her see that HER beauty is the only beauty that will ever matter to me and no woman could ever take that place.Even IF I had a slight "crush" on her outside (the celeb).

If I did my job as a husband correctly and she opened her eyes to the fact that even IF I were to harmlessly look at a celebrity, my heart and every other part of me was hers.

As a husband it is not only my job to look out for her physical well being, but her mental, emotional AND spiritual well being as well.

IF I ever say "I do", nothing in Hell or Earth will ever drag me from supporting that woman and nothing in Heaven would ever want to.

It doesn't bother me. I think some men are attractive. D even tells me when he thinks a man is handsome. I do the same thing by acknowledging pretty women. No biggie.